Social media is addictive. This is not a mistake but is by design. I’m a week into my month off facebook, twitter and Instagram. This episode is about how I’m doing so far…and also about the biggest failure I’ve experienced as a professional musician.
Some of the topics
- My anxiety has decreased somewhat
- I’m wondering if I can run a business without being on social media
- Being kind to myself even though I failed at something really important to me
Links & Things Mentioned in this episode
- Youtube Chrome extension
- The audiobook I’m listening to right now: Ten arguments for deleting your social media accounts right now – Jaron Lanier
- Primitive Technology on Youtube
Songs from this episode can be downloaded when you join the Nateives Tribe on Patreon
A live version of In The Shadows:
Now it’s your turn:
What do you think? let me know in the comments below, or leave a voice note by clicking the button on the right side of this page. I hope to hear from you…but more, I hope you found something you needed in today’s episode!
Thank you for Getting Naked With Nate ?
See you next week!
Hugs from Thailand
Nate
*If anyone knows who to credit for the photo, please tell me!*
PS: this podcast relies on the generosity of its community, so please leave a review and pledge on Patreon to keep this ship afloat
Thank you for being naked with your feelings and thoughts. I found that I have a double personality when it comes to posting on social media. I’m a deeply private person, but will share openly daily happenings and NEVER post my inner deepest thoughts/hurts. This poem kind of hits it on the nose.
Behind The Mask
© Melisa Bernards
Published: February 2015
Hiding the hurt, hiding the pain,
Hiding the tears that fall like rain.
Saying I’m fine when I’m anything but.
This ache in my soul rips at my gut.
My skin is on fire; I burn from within.
The calm on my face is an ongoing sin.
The world must stay out; I’ve built up a wall.
My fragile lie will collapse should it ever fall.
Loneliness consumes me; it eats away the years
Until my life is swallowed by unending fears.
Waiting for someone to see I wear a mask
And care enough to remove it; is that too much to ask?
I am lucky enough to have a loving partner who understands my Bi-Polar problems and is there for me through thick or thin.
Much love and success to you on your journey of unplugging/cutting the umbilical cord from social media. NEVER be a slave to it.
I was just speaking about this with some friends last night, how social media invites people to only share what is positive and light in their lives. The perception we get is of people having perfect lives, when in actual fact we all go through really challenging experiences at times. It’s so important that we can talk about that and share that with one another.
Friendship is not just sharing the good stuff when it’s happening, but is being able to share the truth of ourselves openly as we are.
Thank you for sharing yourself here, and for that powerful poem. I too am blessed with a supportive and understanding partner ?
All the best, Eve ?
It truly is a blessing when you find someone who can see the real you. Glad my poem touched you in some way.
How lovely of you to drop by, thank you for your poem ?
Thank you for being naked with your feelings and thoughts. I found that I have a double personality when it comes to posting on social media. I’m a deeply private person, but will share openly daily happenings and NEVER post my inner deepest thoughts/hurts. This poem kind of hits it on the nose.
Behind The Mask
© Melisa Bernards
Published: February 2015
Hiding the hurt, hiding the pain,
Hiding the tears that fall like rain.
Saying I’m fine when I’m anything but.
This ache in my soul rips at my gut.
My skin is on fire; I burn from within.
The calm on my face is an ongoing sin.
The world must stay out; I’ve built up a wall.
My fragile lie will collapse should it ever fall.
Loneliness consumes me; it eats away the years
Until my life is swallowed by unending fears.
Waiting for someone to see I wear a mask
And care enough to remove it; is that too much to ask?
I am lucky enough to have a loving partner who understands my Bi-Polar problems and is there for me through thick or thin.
Much love and success to you on your journey of unplugging/cutting the umbilical cord from social media. NEVER be a slave to it.
I was just speaking about this with some friends last night, how social media invites people to only share what is positive and light in their lives. The perception we get is of people having perfect lives, when in actual fact we all go through really challenging experiences at times. It’s so important that we can talk about that and share that with one another.
Friendship is not just sharing the good stuff when it’s happening, but is being able to share the truth of ourselves openly as we are.
Thank you for sharing yourself here, and for that powerful poem. I too am blessed with a supportive and understanding partner ?
All the best, Eve ?
It truly is a blessing when you find someone who can see the real you. Glad my poem touched you in some way.
How lovely of you to drop by, thank you for your poem ?
i love you so much, Nate, and i totally relate to everything you’re saying. we have more in common than you know… and i am right here with you, darlin.
it’s so easy to compulsively check my social media accounts multiple times a day, so easy to waste time on useless things. one of the things i am curious about is- how did creators like us share their work with the world before these algorithms partnered with our insecurities?
thank you so much for being so freakin’ HONEST! i will never give up on you, dear… and i’m always here for you.
‘algorithms partnered with our insecurities’: such a powerful line, Erin! That’s exactly how it is! Sorry to hear that you also struggle with this, it’s a tough one for sure. Thanks for being there, your unwavering belief in me and support mean everything. Love to you and Jakob and all ????
I listened to this episode and I am not sure what to think.
Your kind of addiction is certainly different from mine.
My month of social media detox has taught me a lot about myself, but my approach was a different one. Sure, I was seeking the validation of others too, why else share my writing; but I never compared myself to others. I have been in a depressive state for a long while now. I am digging my way out of the dark, but my darkness wasn’t caused by social media, outside pressure, or algorithms. (My depression comes from having been emotionally abused and abandoned as a child) I feel that there are negative side effects everywhere. It is our job to not let the negatives rule us. And I am saying this as a pessimistic person. I am not blind to the state of us humans, and yes, we are destroying ourselves and our planet. But instead of changing a community, we should start with the man in the mirror. Lead by example. Because it is clichĂ© but, actions speak louder than words. What I got from a month without Facebook and Twitter and Instagram is that I am much more reluctant to share anything at all. Who cares? I was not missed. My silence wasn’t a big deal. No one cared but me. And that is good. I am the centre of my own life. I lost my best friend in the process though… I became less selfless. Which is good for me personally.
My final thought: without social media, I would not be your patreon. I wouldn’t care about you or your journey. The way I see it, social media is a blessing and a course for you. No one asks you to be naked all the time. These podcasts are a way of seeking validation too, aren’t they? Everything we do online caters to our vanity. We are the first generation that is truly experiencing this. It is new territory for everyone. Baby steps. For some this “new” world is easier to navigate than for others. You will get there too if you pressure yourself a little less.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Cathy. Yes, I think my experience of social media and sharing has more to do with my own trauma than anything else. So I either need to shift how I relate to social media or find another way to make my income which doesn’t require me to be on social media ?‍♂️
i love you so much, Nate, and i totally relate to everything you’re saying. we have more in common than you know… and i am right here with you, darlin.
it’s so easy to compulsively check my social media accounts multiple times a day, so easy to waste time on useless things. one of the things i am curious about is- how did creators like us share their work with the world before these algorithms partnered with our insecurities?
thank you so much for being so freakin’ HONEST! i will never give up on you, dear… and i’m always here for you.
‘algorithms partnered with our insecurities’: such a powerful line, Erin! That’s exactly how it is! Sorry to hear that you also struggle with this, it’s a tough one for sure. Thanks for being there, your unwavering belief in me and support mean everything. Love to you and Jakob and all ????
I listened to this episode and I am not sure what to think.
Your kind of addiction is certainly different from mine.
My month of social media detox has taught me a lot about myself, but my approach was a different one. Sure, I was seeking the validation of others too, why else share my writing; but I never compared myself to others. I have been in a depressive state for a long while now. I am digging my way out of the dark, but my darkness wasn’t caused by social media, outside pressure, or algorithms. (My depression comes from having been emotionally abused and abandoned as a child) I feel that there are negative side effects everywhere. It is our job to not let the negatives rule us. And I am saying this as a pessimistic person. I am not blind to the state of us humans, and yes, we are destroying ourselves and our planet. But instead of changing a community, we should start with the man in the mirror. Lead by example. Because it is cliché but, actions speak louder than words. What I got from a month without Facebook and Twitter and Instagram is that I am much more reluctant to share anything at all. Who cares? I was not missed. My silence wasn’t a big deal. No one cared but me. And that is good. I am the centre of my own life. I lost my best friend in the process though… I became less selfless. Which is good for me personally.
My final thought: without social media, I would not be your patreon. I wouldn’t care about you or your journey. The way I see it, social media is a blessing and a course for you. No one asks you to be naked all the time. These podcasts are a way of seeking validation too, aren’t they? Everything we do online caters to our vanity. We are the first generation that is truly experiencing this. It is new territory for everyone. Baby steps. For some this “new” world is easier to navigate than for others. You will get there too if you pressure yourself a little less.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Cathy. Yes, I think my experience of social media and sharing has more to do with my own trauma than anything else. So I either need to shift how I relate to social media or find another way to make my income which doesn’t require me to be on social media ?♂️