We’re on a road, the road is the journey, the journey is life. Today’s episode is another Story Of Song, where we do a deep dive into the lyrics of a song, this one being Everything Is Not What It Appears. I loved recording this, and am sure that if you feel called to listen you will find whatever you need in this moment.


Twilight fell upon the darkening road
I found myself, again, alone
Street lights went out by one by two by three
And I revelled in the shadows that had grown
Oh yes I revelled in the darkness I had known

I’d been there and back again so many times I knew
That the dance I danced was anything but new
Still, I had seen him watching me that old man in the moon
And I thought hey well what else can I do
I’m here to dance I’m gonna dance until it’s through

Wrestling in the desert of this broken afternoon
Makes me wish I packed my wrestling costume
Yes the jester is all dressed up as if he was a loon
Have you listened much to what it is he’s doing?
Oh, there’s such method in the madness of his tune

Traveller been travelling for oh so many years
He’s worn right through his effervescent fears
Listening to everything he treads so soft he hears
The world whisper softly in his ears
Saying, “everything is not what it appears.”


Hello and welcome Thanks for getting naked with Nate another week or for your first time. My name is Nathan Maingard and I am your host of this show. Which brings me to something I mentioned in a previous episode, which is that everywhere you find me on the internet, you will see my name as Nate maingard, My full name is Nathan. And I've been feeling this deep urge to reclaim my full name. So I'm kind of just gently inserting it into places here and there. I just noticed myself automatically calling myself Nathan and signing emails as Nathan and so yes, I'm Nathan. Hi. I think Nathan means a gift or a gift he has he has given or something like that. Something to do with being a gift of God or some other wonderful thing like that. So we'll just take it as magnificent. This week's episode is a story of song, which is kind of how I started this podcast. For those of you who've been listening since back in the day, and if you haven't, you should go listen to some of those. It's quite a journey that I was on it especially at that time, sort of diving deep into depression and then starting therapy and all the things is quite an amazing storyline I think to be followed. But the story of song is basically where I share the deep story and inspirations and insights behind a song and in this case, I decided to celebrate the completion of my mini album echoes by sharing the story of the song everything is not what it appears, which is the final and fifth track on on this mini album. It is also the only track I recorded entirely by myself at home I did all the mixing and the mastering so that's entirely my baby, which I hope was a good idea. And I'm worried maybe wasn't but I think it sounds good. Anyway, so. So yeah, that's what we're going to get into this episode. And the way that it works is that we basically I have this intro here, which I'm talking to you now, which is my way of just saying, Hey, what's up, and then we listen to the song. And then I'll tell you that the deep story of how I wrote it, why I wrote it, what I think it means, all those kind of things. And then we'll listen to it again and you get to see did that shift your insights? Did? Did you find anything else in it? And then we'll do a little, a little farewell outro at the end where Yeah, we'll see how it goes. So as always a huge thank you to my patrons on Patreon. You if you haven't yet do check out the extended unedited video version of this, which is exclusively for you guys on Patreon and become a patron if you haven't yet, because it's super rad. Thank you so much to Peter for becoming a patron just this last week. super rad to have you dude. Amazing so stoked. And yeah, I'm actually a Peter is going to be one of my guests. Next week's guest, I think or maybe the following week. But yeah, he's an amazing dude. And I will he's he's actually off the scale amazing And anyway, I'll tell you more about him in the Next week's episode, but it's going to be pretty rad What else? Yeah, I just feel so stoked I feel like a weight has lifted that I have actually finished the ekos mini album, everything is packed. I literally just have to go to the post office and send all the packages and then the album will be available digitally to everyone the public on the 21st of December 2019. So yes to that hallelujah. It's been three years in the making. It was meant to be less than one year. But yay depression and all of that stuff burn out the rest but here we are. We did it. We frickin did it. So thank you to all of the people who helped that this thing be possible really is completely happened thanks to you. And I appreciate the heck out of you. So as always, if you haven't go to naked with nate.com that is where the show notes live. That is where you can you can leave a review which would mean the world to me honestly it makes my day it makes my week every time a new review comes in. I'm just like this is the best thing ever and I will read them out. on here if you're okay with that I just I love it and thanks to anyone who sent me messages or commented or any of those things it's super boy no i love it i don't know what you're thinking if you don't tell me that's how podcasting works is I'm just speaking into the void right now and trusting that the void has ears and that this land somewhere in the voids hot and that the void chooses to comment back with with something wonderful. Sorry. That's it. This is everything is not what it appears and then we'll get into this. So that was my song, everything is not what it appears. I have a I have a not a guilty acknowledgement but I have an acknowledgement I must make before we get into this, I have not entirely got all the idea of what the song is about, well, I can't possibly so you and even if I tell you my ideas of what I think the song is about, you are entirely entitled to your own perception, your own experience of it. So don't let this take anything away from whatever you get from the song. Because basically when I wrote it just flew out of me It came out of my mouth, I had no idea what was going on. I just sat and played and sang and these are the words that happened. And as such, there is actually one thing that I really, that I changed since I recorded the album. So it's kind of like immortalised which I think happens quite regularly from as artists record something in that all at one lyric Could it be Better. So, anyway, let's get into it. First of all, the over overarching kind of theme which came to me, after singing and playing it was I realised, oh, this is the song of the jester or the fool that was like a capital F. So I don't know if you know, but in a lot of drama and a lot of stories, specifically, we could talk about Shakespeare at this point. And even more specifically, the story of King Lear. King Lear had a fool and a lot of royalty had a fool or a jester. And what's interesting about the jester within literature, is that the gesture is usually the one who gets to say, because they're crazy, you know, they're the fool. They're silly. They're all jangly, colourful, weird looking weird sounding. No one really pays that much attention to them. And and they also get to say anything because they're technically crazy in a way so they get to say anything. But what often happens is that through that craziness, they speak some of the most important and depth deep truths available and if only the other characters listen to them. So for example, if King Lear if you know the story is just a really tries to tell him where he's going wrong and he doesn't listen and he ends up fact he ends up totally screwed. And so, yeah, that's just one example. But I've always felt like I've always really admired the gesture he played. I played beyond dello in The Taming of the Shrew, which is another Shakespeare play I play that in high school, and beyond the law is another as a gesture. And so that role has always kind of appealed to me I've at times being the class clown. But I've also always felt like always generally felt like I am a person who is outside of the normal I can't fit into the boxes built for me by the society within which I find myself living. And if you're listening to this podcast, and I imagine you're one of those people too, and I don't know what your role is, but I sometimes think my role is that of the jester who is slightly out of the ordinary and often viewed a bit strangely, but there is some golden there some jewels, some gems within the wire. Weird lyrics and melodies pouring forth so anyway, let's get into the lyrics themselves. The first verse is basically about Twilight fell upon the darkening road I found myself again alone. street lights went out by one by two by three so that's the actual lyric I changed now when I sing it. I say street lights came out by one by two by three. I don't know why I wrote it like I did originally. Because if it's Twilight, then the street lights are usually coming on and not going out. But in some part of me, I was like, wouldn't that be weird if they were if they came on and then just went out even though it was Twilight? But now I think it makes more sense to say the streetlights came out to anyway Forgive me for that. It'll always be went out on the album. And I revelled in the shadows that had grown. Oh, yes, I revelled in the darkness I had known. And so to me, there's this idea of light and dark mixing. You know, we're on a road The road is the journey. The journey is life, if you will, and we walk it alone in many ways, no matter who else accompanies us. We are still we born. We are born alone, we die alone, and we're also Always with always surrounded by love and by others, but it is that paradox of life and the street lights coming out or going out but if they come out, then they throw darker shadows where the light doesn't hit the shadows become the light becomes brighter but the shadows become darker, and I revelled in the shadows that had grown I revelled in the darkness I had known, acknowledging and accepting and embracing the Shadow Work the shadow parts of myself that I've often turned away from the parts that I hide from the shameful parts but that those parts are a part of me and they're actually integrated and through integration is healing and wholeness not by constantly seeking the light and seeking that which makes us comfortable, feel good, up. It's not about being up and feeling fantastic all the time. It's about being able having the capacity to go into the shadowy places and do the work and gain the gifts and bring them back out into the light and and just to be in that dance until we return to oneness where there is no light and dark. It's all just one big explosion of being...anyway, so then the second verse, I don't know what just happened there. The second verse, I'd been there and back again so many times I knew that the dance I danced was anything but new. Still, I had seen him watching me that old man in the moon and I thought, hey, well what else can I do? I'm here to dance. I'm going to dance until it's through. I think this is one of my all time favourite verses, maybe not just lyrically, the lyrics are pretty straightforward, but but in terms of the content is this idea of talking about the challenges of life or even you could say take it even further and say reincarnation if you want, you don't have to, but even just in life, everything is cyclical, there are births, there is growth, there is decay, there is death, and that happens with entire microcosms tiny little places. And it happens in macro chasms and huge places and massive things unfolding and, and it's constant just like a flow the only constant in life is change. As I think Heraclitus the Greek philosophers said, and yeah, so this idea of, I'd been there and back again, I've been there so many times I've done this so many times I know this journey, I know the dance from light to dark and back to light. And the dark. I know that the dance I'm dancing is anything but new. It's been done by everyone who's ever lived, everyone who will ever live. And then still, I see him watching me that old man in the moon, this idea that there's someone watching or some other entity watching from the outside, it's kind of like a funny one in a weird way, when really, we are all integrated into the hole and the hole is integrated into us. And everything we see outside is only a reflection of what's inside and everything inside is reflecting outside. And so this idea that there's some old man up there looking at us and judging us is a very interesting one to me. I'm not quite sure. It doesn't really resonate with me. And so I thought, hey, well, what else can I do? I'm here to dance. I'm going to dance until it's through. Even though I've done so many times, even though everyone else is dancing, the same dance of light and shadow and light and shadow. I'm here to do it and so I'm going to fucking do it. And that's it. Okay, the third verse which is one of my favourite lyrically, but what the first half of it doesn't really make sense but it doesn't make sense and that's kind of the gesture in a way that just is not here to to hand you the truth or the knowledge you need on a platter in a clearly written letters. The gesture is a is a Riddler the gesture is one who invites you to be curious and uncertain. And actually often I've heard it said that the teachers are the Guru's are the wise people will often shock and surprise their students as a way to shake them out of their thought patterns out of their customary ways of thinking and looking at the world. So that's, I think this verse is kind of something like that. Wrestling in the desert of this broken afternoon. makes me wish I packed my wrestling costume. So I don't really know what that means. I love that line. I love the imagery the idea of wrestling in the desert on a broken afternoon. I wish I packed my wrestling costume with I mean, but it feels great. I don't know. I just love it. So if you get a sense of what that might mean, I have some ideas. But I almost don't even want to tell you because I just feel like that should just be an image in your mind. And you should go wherever you need to go with that. So if you want to tell me in the comments, go to negative name.com. Tell me what you think I would love to hear. And then the next line, yes, the jester is all dressed up as if he was a Loon. That's what I was talking about earlier. How the Justice always like colourfully dressed with bells, and you got all that's a ridiculous person. I don't want to pay attention to them. Have you listened much to what it is he's doing? Oh, there's such method in the madness of his tune. So again, that idea that within these really weird wild things that the gesture has a tendency to say there are jewels and gems worth paying attention to. Which brings us to the final verse of this song, which is traveller been travelling for oh so many years. He's won right through his effervescent fears. So that I quite enjoy the idea. So I don't know if you know, effervescence is like champagne is effervescent bubbles, the bubbles that rise and so the travel has been travelling so we've been on this journey I've been on this journey you've been on this journey we are on this journey on this road dancing the dance for so many years, that eventually we were through we wear them out we work through them we let them go they become less important are effervescent are bubbling fears, the fears that rise and rise and rise. We were right through them, and we listen, listening to everything. He trades so softly he hears listening to everything he trades so soft, he hears the world whisper softly in his ears. So this is where we come to this point of without striving for anything without needing to make a lot of noise or tell the whole world how incredible we are a show of all the amazing. We just listened to everything. Everything that exists is a song waiting to be heard. It's like one of my previous episodes I'll put it in the show notes is talking about how the whole universe Singing but it's all molecules vibrating at different frequencies. It's really just an entire that all of existence is in harmony singing this incredible song. And so listening to everything he treads so soft, we soften our tread on the earth. And he hears the world whisper softly in his ears. And what is the world say saying? Everything is not what it appears. And that's the end of the song. And so that final line for me Everything is not what it appears is really this idea of, we look at the world and we assume we know what's going on. But do we really look at how society is right now look at how our education system is look at how our prison systems are, look at how our food systems are. Have we built a world that is in alignment with our highest human needs or with what it means to be human or what we're here to do? Are we here to work all our lives to build up and accumulate status and money and things white picket fences and children and only are we here to gather and accumulate? Because at some point, we're dying, right? Every one of us is going to go it's happening that is our guarantee. And yet, and none of it we take with or do we take with. So what is life about Really? So that's the idea is like everything is not what it appears and I don't exactly know what that means. I'm not here to tell you the answer. I'm here to ask you the question. What do you think is not what it appears? What is it in you? What is it for you that goes, this isn't the way that it's been shown to be? There is something else here there is something more there's something less there's something other? Please be that question and curious person i that is what we're here to do. Let us not assume that the rules and the stories and the writings that we've been given are the only way to view reality because everything is not what it appears. So let's listen again and see if you get anything the second time and I will see you on the other side. as always I am so curious to know your thoughts. Did you resonate at all with the song did you resonate with it the first time did you resonate with the story at all, that you resonated with it even more that resonate with it even more the second time because of the story or less the second time because I told the story Want to know your thoughts? Dear human, this is what getting naked with Nathan is all about is about us connecting naked as in feelings or opinions expressed openly. And yes, physical nakedness is wonderful as well why the hell not? Why? How did we build a society where we are born into the world naked? And then we are taught pretty much immediately that that state that natural God given state is something to be ashamed of, and to be hidden from the world. Oh, no, it's private. You can't do that. You can't wander around in your birthday suit. Oh, my gosh, the hora when really, it's entirely natural. To me, there's this wonderful way of working out how I want to view the world. And it's based on curiosity is based on the availability of new ideas, and the willingness to question. So for example, nakedness physical nakedness. Is it a bad thing? Is it should it be private? Should it be hidden? Should we do it only Oh, there's dodgy people around you got to be careful them all that kind of stuff. When it comes to nakedness. I just asked myself the question With any question I'm looking at, or any so called truth that I'm looking at, I asked myself why is kids do that really well and if you have kids I'm sure you've seen it. I remember doing a lot when I was a kid and I've heard kids do it a lot and yes, it gets annoying sometimes, but it should be encouraged no matter what I think that incredible curiosity that that deep desire to know why so kitten says why is it like that? Why can't we wear clothes? Because it's you know, it's rude people get upset why I think as well cuz you know, religious reasons and something there's a shame piece around it. Why? Because of sexuality and you know, bodies and why and you just keep going deeper and deeper. And for me, I couldn't get to an answer that satisfied me around nakedness I just couldn't get that couldn't get to a place where I was like, Oh, that makes sense. Why it's a problem. Yes, I get this I can answer Oh, because there's dodgy people around who are you know, perverts and things like that? Why are they perverts? Let's go inside there are perfectly Why have we sexualized the human body to the point that we can't even safely walk around naked without someone posing over it because they themselves are sort of suppressed and repressed and traumatised by their own upbringing and their own sexual abuse and repression and that from their parents and ever, I mean, we've built the most insane society. Anyway, that's my little ramble. Maybe that's good something to do with the song maybe it doesn't. Maybe this lands exactly where you need it to land today. And if so, then I have done my job. Yes, thank you for getting naked with Nathan. This is fantastic. I love you. You're wonderful. I want to hear from you. I even built a website that has a voice note feature. So you can go to naked with nate.com forward slash Hello. And you can leave me a voice note or you can leave me a written note or you can leave me a review or a comment on post all of those kinds of things. So please be sure to do that. I will have some simple show notes for today's session. Today's episode today's whatever it is this exploration into the experience of being human through the mind and the filter of what is currently called Nathan but it's really just God experiencing itself subject That, I will have some show notes about that at naked with nate.com. So please go and do that. Yeah, this particular episode if you if you're the kind of person doesn't want to look around just naked with nate.com forward slash everything. And I'll make sure that that takes you where you want to go. So once again, thank you for being here. Thank you for existing please do do all the things, all the comments, reviews, etc, and also become a patron. That's a huge one right now it's, I mean, it's always huge because this each episode, not so much. These solo ones, they take me probably four hours, but ones with guests taking the eight to 10 hours per episode, and I'm currently doing one a week. It's a lot of time and I this is truly a labour of love. I mean, if you can't tell that by my tone of my voice and the people I'm talking to and the whole thing, I love doing this, and I would love to get paid to do it. So if you want to become one of my patrons and pay me to make this if this feels like it has value, then please offer monetary exchange if you can afford to, and if you can't afford to, then please do go and leave a review on iTunes so that other people can find it, share it with your friends, all of those things. It really matters. It matters more than you think. So take that extra step, do that extra thing. Go to naked with nate.com click all the links share all the things become all the patrons and and you're amazing and thank you for existing well done on being here in the dance through the light through the shadows everywhere in between wrestling in the desert of this broken afternoon. Even if you don't have your wrestling costume. Well done. You're amazing. I'll see you next week. Thanks for getting naked was Nathan

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